Five weeks and I'm still alive

I joined the Biggest Loser contest at Sculptures five weeks ago and I am feeling that my life is changing...slowly, one baby step at a time, but it is changing.  The number on the scale is 11 pounds less than it was five weeks ago.  I am much stronger and feel better all the way around.  I don't think I can say I have felt that big boost in energy like people say happens when you start exercising, but I would say I'm more even or level in my energy levels. 

So, what has changed?

• I exercise....and I like it!!!  Thanks to the wonderful variety of classes at Sculptures, I have learned to like sweating for one to two hours at a time.  Monday i
• s Insanity (watch the infomercials!) and Hustle (I pretend I'm a hiphop goddess.)  Tuesday is Rest Day.  Wednesday I try to get to Turbo Kick or I do the elliptical at home.  Thursday is PiYo(my FAVE) and sometimes BodySmith if Kelly is teaching.  Friday is Rest Day.  Saturday is PiYo and TurboKick.  Sunday is MUST Take a Nap Day.  So it isn't daily, but with two hours on some of those days, I feel like I'm off to a good start.  It's better than what I was doing before. 
• I can do push-ups!!!  well, the girly ones with my knees on the floor, but I feel so much stronger already. 
• I can hold the plank position for a good length of time.
• I can do a variety of crunches w/o pulling every muscle in my abdomen and w/o pushing myself up with my hands. 
• My stomach is shrinking.  I can't eat as much as I used to. 
• I'm making better food choices. Tomorrow Team Red is starting a Clean Eating challenge.  I don't think I can go 100% right now, but my coach has challenged me to go 80%.  I think that is doable.
• I am drinking more water and less pop. 
• I love, love, love having that time to myself.  It is keeping me sane.  I have needed to make time for myself for a very long time.  I feel that my family is in a good place for me to do this.  Is my house clean? No.  Is laundry done? No.  Is anyone starving or running around naked?  Absolutely not.

So, that is what is up in my little corner of the world.  Thanks for checking in.  Another big, huge thanks for all of my dearest friends and family who have been encouraging me through these life changes. 

A Little Push...

If you see me or talk to me this week, give me a little push.

I am signed up for the Biggest Loser Challenge at Sculptures. It begins tomorrow night with orientation.  I am hoping my competitive streak kicks in and I kick butt over the next 90 days.  It isn't about beating others, though.  It's about putting myself first and proving to myself that I can change.  I am looking forward to the classes that they have.  Zumba, Hustle, TurboKick...they sound fun, don't they?  :)  What sounds even better is an hour to myself, for myself, three nights each week.  And maybe some Saturday mornings too.

I may need a little push now and then.  Be gentle. Be kind.  Don't nag (like my husband).

This all sounds like a good excuse to buy new shoes, doesn't it?

Holy Crap.

Well, to say that my journey has gone well is a lie.  I haven't posted, I haven't exercised, I haven't done a darn thing to help myself.  I have to change.  Why don't I have the willpower to do so????  I feel like an absolute failure.  Can I do something about this fact?  Absolutely.  Do I want to do something?  Absolutely.  Do I believe in myself enough to make it happen?  I don't know.  Maybe that's the problem.  Maybe I don't believe in myself enough to even get started on changing my life.  I can't even keep my stupid house clean.  How can I take on such a big challenge as making better lifestyle changes?  I want to live a long healthy and happy life, but I haven't done anything to make that happen.  I suck.  I can't even give up pop like I have been wanting to do. I need to use this blog as my journal, as my venting machine, as my accountability tool.

I have been having some health concerns lately...must get to the doctor to figure out what is causing lower back pain, cramps, and left hip pain.  Could be all this extra weight.  I don't know, but I have to figure it out.

I have so very far to go...it's overwhelming.  I think that is the other thing that holds me back.  I need to quit looking long term and the long road to get there.  I need to focus short term:  just today.  What can I do today to be healthy?  First answer:  exercise.  I'm going to switch the laundry and head to the basement to the long-ignored elliptical.

Praying for the strength each day to make good choices.  Going to dump out my pop and get a glass of water.  If you're the praying type, please pray for me.